Domestic Violence on MTV

If you know me, you know I love mtv.com. This season's Real World is placed in D.C. While only one of the four male housemates is openly "bisexual," the other three look "even gayer." And as for the girls, one of them shares that her last relationship was with a woman. In what seems to be the "gayest ever" season, two housemates--Ashley and Andrew--a joke turns into a physcial altercation. At one point Ashley gets really scared that Andrew is going to hurt her and she references being physically abused as a child. Andrew and most of the mates think she has blown the situation out of proportion. In the below clip, the four housemates (excluding Ashley) discuss how she decided to stay in a hotel that night.

http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/478355/comfort-level.jhtml#id=1630682

One mtv.com user articulated what was making me uncomfortable in this whole incident--I identify with the "Panda" (blonde, sensitive, silly Andrew) the most out of the housemates, so I had initially sided with him in this dramatic episode.

She writes: Emily comes across as being really rude in this clip and exceedingly insensitive. I am really shocked about MTV's lack of attention to the history of domestic violence in the background of this episode. As much as MTV puts disclaimers in a show, say Teen Mom, about reaching out for help on pregnancy or teen violence, here the network washes their hand and makes Ashley out to be at best, comical, and at worst, an annoying complainer. Being a survivor of domestic violence is NOT easy. You can be triggered by many things - things that to other people seem 'silly' or 'small'. All of these clips, particularly Emily who attempts to portray herself as a voice for independent women, make light of what it means to be a survivor of violence. It is really disturbing. Obviously Ashley has some work to do - but we all do. No one is perfect. But violence won't end in this world until we all begin to take it more seriously - and that means taking seriously someone's 'comfort' (which Emily mocks in this clip), people's boundaries, people's histories and lived experiences, etc.

Back to me: censorship plays such an important role in what we learn to be 'normal.' On the Jersey Shore, remember, the image of Snookie being struck in the face at the bar was blacked out, and they played a p.s.a. about domestic violence at the end. (They also showed the whole clip on all the promos leading up to the show--I hear this, but I don't have cable.) In this carving out of norms regulating violence, is not domestic violence until the woman actually gets punched in the face? Otherwise, are these women just trying to get attention? (Remember how many times that explanation was given for Jersey Shore women's actions as well?)

It's interesting to see which oppressions/fights are sexy enough to make it onto MTV, and which are still completely ignored (e.g. there's only one black housemate; duh, it's a man; the black man talked about how women were naturally dependent and it wasn't that big of a deal; the out bisexual man keeps saying how he doesn't want that to be his defining identity; no lesbians; no trans (okay, props for the other season); no black women (on mtv, anywhere); no race/ethncity whatever you want to call it other than white and black; no combination of the previous). I could go on and on, but I want to watch the new episode of My Life As Liz before Rachel gets back.